Real talk, real life

I posted this rant on Facebook and then thought I’d post it on the blog. Real talk here, real life. How many of you have seen the memes that have been circulating that say this?

***If you don’t come out of the pandemic with:

A new skill
A new income
A new expertise

You never lacked time, you lacked discipline.***

I just can’t keep my mouth shut over this.

FYI, this is complete and utter judgmental bullshit. It’s unimaginative. It tries to push onto us the performance porn that our culture prizes so highly, and to guilt-trip us if we haven’t measured up to *somebody else’s* expectation.

Many of you have children who have not been to school, and who may not be able to go to school in the fall. You have sick or elderly relatives. I, personally, know of one individual who has a disabled spouse who would die if they contracted COVID-19, so she quit her job and they are isolating and living off disability and savings.

In. Order. To. Save. His. Life.

Or maybe you are empathic and watching in horror as the world around us has seemed to catch fire with racisim and disease. Maybe you have lost your job. Maybe you have lost your job twice, now that many places are having to shut down again.

Maybe you have–and do–feel overwhelmed at trying to figure out how to meet the new challenges in your day. Maybe you’re battling depression and anxiety. There are intense new stressors we have to deal with every single day.

This reality that we’re in is isolating. It can be mentally and emotionally exhausting.

If ALL YOU DO is get enough sleep and take care of yourself, I’m proud of you. If you cook yourself healthy meals, look after your pets, find comfort in your favorite escape reads–I’m proud of you. If you’re able to take a walk and enjoy nature, if you can feel some measure of security in having a roof over your head, If you can call your loved ones, I AM PROUD OF YOU.

There’s a lot of toxic crap flying around right now. Don’t buy into it. Reach for your center, your spirituality, and if you can’t seem to locate it, reach for help. The pandemic can contribute to individual and collective trauma. Commonly observed reactions include panic, depression, hopelessness, anxiety, stress, grief, and PTSD. [Source link]

Remember, even if you might feel like it, you’re not alone.

One of my happy memories. This was a glorious sunset.

Much love,


9 Responses

  1. AndreaH says:

    Wow, I’m glad I haven’t seen that kind of nonsense anywhere. You’re absolutely right, staying even keeled, finding your center, finding some measure of peace in these weird times is a seriously great achievement! You tell ‘me Thea!

  2. Beth says:

    Yes! Thanks for this! Other than my long-retired mother, I don’t know anyone who is sitting around with tons of free time. We all have challenges of one kind or another, and current reality is making some harder and giving a few new ones.

    If we have a new income source, it’s likely from necessity, not a sudden burst of creative or financial freedom.

    Stay safe and be kind to yourself!

  3. Tracy Holiday says:

    Proud of you and grateful for this post. Thank you.

  4. Ruthanne says:

    IF ALL YOU DO is keep your faith in family, your Deity, friends and our country, we Will come out of this together, when the sun comes shining back onto all of us.
    Thank you, Thea, for the reminders of how our nation cones together in times like this.
    God bless you and our country.

  5. Jc2hughes says:

    You said it! Thank you, both for what you just said and for all your wonderful works of fiction that give so many a ray of light in these dark times.

  6. Vic says:

    Thanks so much for this post. I agree that this is a good opportunity for some to expand their horizons but for some just carrying on is enough. My mother is 74 and was taking care of my 99 yo grandmother with dementia, my 84 yo father with end stage Alzheimer’s, and my 25 yo niece with severe CP since birth. We lost grandma early this year (unrelated to COVID) in feb. But there is more going on in households than what this quote implies. I think we all need to pull together and support one another. I’m 52 and don’t recognize the country Ive been reading about. I remember growing up with adults checking on every child’s cry during the 70s and 80s growing up in the suburbs no matter what street you were on. Nothing was perfect but there were people there willing to stand up for you in my neighborhood. I’ve tried to do the same in my current suburb so there are kids willing to come to my door for a bandage, Water or support against bullies. I’m not the only one doing this is my neighborhood.

  7. Johanna J says:

    Agree with you and it’s what so many of us really need to hear (and believe) right now. Thanks!

  8. Jenny says:

    Thank you for your words. Working at a school I have been off work for over 5 months now. Work has my friends, my entertainment, and lots of amazing kids with wonderful smiles. I am just sad now. I want to go back. I miss it all. I am able to get up take care of myself, my animals, my family, sometimes my house. Mostly I just want to either sleep or do nothing. You latest book provided me with a nice break from this world. Thank you.
    P.s. I go back to work in a few weeks. Hopefully.

  9. Carol says:

    Merci beaucoup, grazie, ta, gracias, danke schoen, domo arigato gozaimasu…

    You get all the Thank You.

    For being, fierce, loyal, courageous, and lovely